“To Serve Man”

The best explanation for the current public health nightmare is that we are reliving a Twilight Zone episode from March 2, 1962.

I’ve been trying to understand the recent inexplicable actions of our Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). Now, I’m pretty sure I’ve figured it out. We are being forced to relive a Twilight Zone episode that originally aired on March 2, 1962. It was called “To Serve Man.”

In “To Serve Man”, 9-foot-tall aliens come to earth and address congressional delegates and journalists. The aliens promise to solve the world’s food shortages with better agricultural techniques. They promise a cleaner environment, free from harmful chemicals. They promise a world free from war. These promises strangely mimic those made by today’s Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) movement. Led by the Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., MAHA has promised to connect public health to the environment, to modernize standards for the use of chemicals, to eliminate pesticides and artificial dyes and ultra-processed foods. By embracing the central tenets of MAHA, we can live longer, better lives.

The aliens kept their promises. Wars ended. Food was plentiful. Humans thrived. There was, however, one grotesque catch. “To Serve Man” wasn’t a treatise on better health, it was a cookbook on how to prepare and serve humans—as food. It was about fattening us up for when invaders transported us back to their planet.

In “To Serve Man”, the aliens were easy to spot. They were 9-feet tall and had mechanical voices. Today, the aliens among us are much harder to spot. For example, the man who leads the MAHA movement looks and talks like us. He appears to be one of us. Nonetheless, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. offers several clues that he is not from this world. For example, he doesn’t believe in the germ theory—that bacteria or viruses cause specific diseases. He believes that no vaccine is beneficial, that HIV is not the cause of AIDS, that unpasteurized milk is safe, that he and his family can swim safely in bacteria-infested creeks, and that natural measles infection prevents cancer, heart disease, and autoimmune disease. Measles infections should be embraced, argues Kennedy, not feared. No one from this planet—or at least no one who has lived here within the past 150 years—could possibly believe these things to be true.

The price paid for the false promises made by aliens in “To Serve Man” was that people were taken to another planet and eaten. Today, on this planet, Robert F. Kennedy’s MAHA movement might help us to eat better and live longer. But, like the aliens in “To Serve Man,” there is a hideous catch. RFK Jr. is laser-focused on making vaccines less available, less affordable, and more feared. During the past year, for the first time in twenty years, two healthy children died from measles. Also, 266 children died from influenza, more than anything we’ve experienced since the 2009 swine flu pandemic. And ten children have died this year from pertussis; the previous year, two children died. This will only get worse.

In “To Serve Man,” Congress didn’t realize that we were dinner for aliens until it was too late. One can only hope that Congress will realize that Kennedy, the man behind the MAHA movement, is not one of us. The alien in “To Serve Man” was named Kanamit. Same first letter. Same number of letters and syllables. Do you see my point? It’s really the only explanation that makes sense.